Renewal

I've been reading through some of my old journals recently and came upon one that struck a chord today, so I thought I'd share. "Renewing my mind" seems to be a theme for me right now, and this little gem was all about that lovely topic. It's a bit of a read, so grab a coffee and settle in. (I never suffer alone...)

A Bumpy Ride

Victory… defeat… victory… defeat. Up and down the see-saw goes until my bottom is numb and I just want off this blinkin’ ride. Who came up with this, anyway? We move up and down and up and down—getting nowhere fast and risking splinters from the wooden seat. But we get on the ride anyway, of our own accord. We decide to listen to and follow God’s voice which brings us to victory. We glory in the joy of the Lord, hallelujah, until the warm fuzzy feelings start to fade. Then we get lazy; we slack off and allow life to get in the way of our godly focus. The ride of life comes to a walloping “thud” as we hit defeat once again. It’s a pattern we’re all too familiar with. So how do we stop the madness?

Renewing our minds daily... that's what the Bible tells us to do. It’s that simple and that complex all at once. The human condition: knowing what will save us and choosing something else. I suppose that’s why we need God. We can’t do this thing on our own, so He has sent a Savior to come to our rescue. Ah, but here’s the rub: depending on the depth of our relationship, God chooses to show up at different times in our crisis. For new Christians, God likes to show off, so He’s there pretty much at every turn. Babes in Christ are all atwitter with stories of answered prayer. (Note to self: find a new Christian fast and ask them to pray for me.) Not so for those of us who have been in this thing for awhile. Unfortunately, when the teacher is giving a test, the teacher is silent. Teacher wants to know what student has learned. Student must have faith in what Teacher has taught and walk in it. Something about building character and being a witness and stronger on the other side… Truth is, the bigger the destiny, the harder the struggle. Yeah, we’ve all heard that one before, and it’s a small comfort in the middle of the junk.

But consider the Bible story of Joseph & his colorful coat. Things were going pretty well for him for his entire life – up until the ripe old age of, what, twelve or so? Sold into slavery – the kid probably hadn’t worked a hard day in his life. Then it was on to bigger and better things, up until it wasn’t quite so big & great anymore. Then there was prison. During this portion of his life, Joseph was trusting God and learning to listen. Okay, where’s the catch? How did this kid get through it? Where did that kind of faith come from? And I want to read the pages that tell about the days that he was depressed and in the pits of despair because he could see no way out. Sure, God was there and able and all that. But what about the days that our able God chooses not to move His mighty hand? What about those days of pure hopeless hell? What about MY days of pure hell? How do I hold on when I’ve come to the end of holding and just want to let go? Joseph got through it and an amazing reward was waiting for him. He not only achieved material blessing, but he became the salvation of his people. I’m not so much looking to be a queen anywhere – I just want to survive today. So I renew my mind on the good days – the days I am able to focus. On the not-so-good days I depend on what I did the day before, and on the prayers of my beloved family and friends. I know I will come out of this as more than a conqueror. Someday. Today, I settle for surviving through lunch… now there’s a victory!