Defining My Space...

So my most recent art journal prompt was "SPACE." I was late getting it done (for more reasons than I choose to remember), but for one reason in particular: I couldn't land on a track to follow. There are so many directions one could turn when considering that word. And then my first week of school began and I was off in a million directions. However, one event this week kept replaying in my head, which brought me back to the "SPACE" word, and here I am. (I do see a trend in my life of circling about, much like a bird of prey... something to ponder at a later date.)

In several of my education classes I am surrounded by students in their final year. These seniors are what the military folks call "short-timers." They are simply covered up in being "short." Stick a fork in them, people, cuz they are DONE. Who can blame them, really? They've been cooped up in classrooms for a whopping four years and are ready for the big leagues. Heads full of knowledge, binders packed with papers and reports, they are ready to go out there and teach the masses.

As I entered one class, there were 6 or 8 female students already at the tables, quite frustrated with their circumstances. It seems that they just discovered a new rule requiring them to take one additional course before graduation. This was causing quite a stir and a kink in their well-laid plans. I took a seat and listened to them discussing the ridiculousness of the additional class. As they talked, it was as if they had been asked to add another year to their agendas. Several were close to tears.

Now, don't get me wrong. I completely understand their aggravation... this is a bit late in the game to spring another class on them. However, it was their attitudes that had me intrigued. These twenty-something girls were acting as if they were somehow above it all. They had enough education, thank you very much. This new required class was all well and good for the underclassmen, but leave the rest of crowd alone, please. We're doing just fine on our own... go back to sleep.

Later that day I entered the classroom of the course that had been the center of the earlier debate. And yes, there sat the same girls, complete with their "I SO don't need to be here" faces. I sat at their table... just for grins. They kept rolling their eyes and commenting on how BIG the class was, and that they "don't know HALF the people in this room." (Said in a kind of sing-songy voice.)

Here's the best part: The class is going to change their lives and they don't even know it. The prof is a Dr. of some sort who has written books and teaches doctoral classes and has been sent straight from the throne of heaven to knock us off our complacency and bring us into some actual TRUTH. Isn't that fun?

During the first part of class we were asked to take some notes on a fill-in-the-blank page. When we got to the area that discussed "regrets" one of the chatty girls said (to no one in particular), "Oh, I don't have any regrets." She was quite proud of her statement, and impressed several sitting around her. My knee-jerk reaction was to look up at her and kind of snort. She was a bit surprised - but hid it well - and quickly looked away. She knew for a second that I knew something she did not and could not understand.

A bit of LIFE.

So what has this to do with SPACE? So glad you asked!

Here's the quote from my art journal page: "I find myself currently in the process of defining my SPACE." Ready For Lift Off.... Walking It Out...

As I parent my son and learn what it means to have adult children and a grand-fabulous, as I attend college and teach elementary school children, as I coordinate a special needs Sunday school and sit under incredible teaching in church... I am being defined. I am coming up with my definition. I am finding my own space - and I like it.

I no longer roll my eyes at the authorities in my life when they throw me a curve ball. I'm on a path that is being directed by Almighty God. I'm thinking He's in charge of the course. When it gets a bit bendy, He's got my back. I just breathe - sometimes it comes out in a bit of a gasp - but I'm pretty good about settling down and watching how it all plays out. Interesting. I like my space.

So I will attend my classes and watch my fellow students. I will pray that they quickly learn to breathe in the spaces where they currently live. I certainly hope it doesn't take them long to learn this lesson... I'm staring 50 in the face next month. Maybe those girls will catch on sooner. Maybe our shared "required" class will be what they need to get them a bit closer to more than just their degree. Maybe they will learn to love their SPACE as much as I do mine. Or maybe I'm just a silly old lady making all this up.... naahhhh. We shall see.

TRUST

I'm thankful today for this little-big word: trust. I've recently joined an on-line Art Journal group. The leader posts a weekly prompt that we are to use for a journal page. This week's prompt was TRUST.

......................I put the photos above... you even get to see my sweet Kaliope Kitty!

In pondering this word, I discovered that I do not have an issue with trust, and it's primarily due to my daddy. (Yes, I'll always and forever call him daddy.) I have an amazing picture of a trustworthy "daddy-God" because of the love of my natural father. He was always - and will always be - loving and accepting and forgiving and THERE. Not perfect. Just there. If I wanted, I could still sit in his lap. Wouldn't even have to ask, just walk right up and move in - his arms would open and there we would be.

{Unfortunately today, that would probably result in his untimely demise, so I won't be actually sitting in his lap, but you get the drift here, yes? Metaphorically speaking and all that...}

This leads me to a similar picture of God. Open. Forgiving. Accepting. There.

Which brings me back to the topic of TRUST. (See how fun that little circle was?) I've had my share of moments in life that would want to create a heart of mistrust inside me. I'd wager the same is true for you. But somehow, trust is there.

I wrote a list of questions that have been floating around in my head. Then I stamped the word TRUST right on top of them. After TRUST, I placed a ginormous period. That's right - a giant dot that ends the word. TRUST {that's all}.

Then I covered the questions with a swirly white pretty thingy. Here's what I put on the opposite page: I'm not interested in burying my questions. {After all, they're a part of who I am.} However, I do want to cover them in a swirly blanket of TRUST in the One who will bring me to the answers {in HIS time}.

The scripture on the side bar reads: "The praises of our fathers surrounded your throne; they trusted you and you delivered them. You heard their cries for help and saved them; they were never disappointed when they sought your aid." Psalm 22:4-5

I choose today to trust that God has it all figured out. He'll share it with me little by little... and just in time. Selah.